As salaam walekum,
Iam very depressed with the way my husband is treating me. Our marriage occurred over the phone as I live in Australia and he lives in Pakistan We used to be friends and then we got married. Before getting married my husband used to spend a lot of time with and even after he did, the i found out all the lies he had hidden from me and I fought with him, I help him in any financial problem he has and what ever he ever needs I do my best to give it to him but after the argument he distant himself from me, he stopped e-mailing me, or sending me sms or even calling me and when i used to call him he used to disconnect my phone and not talk to me at all, when i became very sick my sister sent him an sms and he said i have told fiza to not contact me but after a few weeks later everything went ok, but he still doesn’t give me time or his love even though we are so far away. He has started a new business so he spends more time there and he has no time for me especially in weekends when before we used to talk to each other whole night long. He has a full time job and his business and i also have a full time job so during weekdays we talk via e-mails but in weekends its zero contact as if i don’t exist. I have helped him in everyway possible, financially especially and when i want to talk to him i have to ask for his permission if i can call him. Because of the way he is behaving with me iam on anti depressant and iam very depressed. I have constantly said to him that I don’t want anything from you but your time, your love and the relationship which husband and wife have, I have constantly sent him numerous presents and cards just so he doesn’t feel iam not there with him but I guess it all means nothing. My parents have both been deceased so my sisters advise me that if he doesn’t give you time while he is in Pakistan he doesn’t care or show you love then imagine what will happen when he comes to Australia Iam very depressed and I humbly seek for your advise please help me in the name of Allah as feel myself very alone and unloved. I hope you would understand my problem and give me the best solution to my problem. Allah hafiz
Dear Sister in Islaam, before answering your question, it would be appropriate to explain that if the Nikaah occurred just over the phone without appointed some representative then the Nikaah is not valid. This is because, one of the conditions for the validity of Nikaah is the presence of Aaqid and Aaqidah-bridegroom and bride or his/her Wakeel-proxy at the place of Nikaah where the witnesses would listen to the Eijaab-proposal and Qubool-acceptance of the couple. This condition does not meet in the case of Nikaah over the phone.
Coming to your problem, if the Nikaah was performed according the Islaamic law then the problem will be solved as you get together, Inshaa Allaah.
As Salaam walekum,
My nikaah did take place over the phone but there were representatives from his side not mine who heard me accepting him as my husband and the mufti made me read certain verses from the holy quran and then he asked me if I asked this man as my husband 3 times which I did but in saying so the 2 representatives who represented me were from my husbands side there was nobody from end who heard me accepting this man as my husband so now iam totally confused whether this man is my husband or not?
I hope you can find a solution to my problem sister and my Allah taala bless you with his grace with all the good work your doing in helping people like us to see the right path. Ameen
One of the conditions for the validity of Nikaah is the presence of Aaqid and Aaqidah-bridegroom and bride or his/her Wakeel-proxy at the place of Nikaah where the witnesses would listen to the Eijaab-proposal and Qubool-acceptance of the couple. This condition does not meet in the case of Nikaah over the phone. Therefore, Nikaah over the phone is not permissible.
However, if he had appointed someone as Wakeel-representative through phone or any other means of communication to propose or accept the conduct of Nikaah on his behalf and the representative played his role at the place of Nikaah in the presence of required witness then the Nikaah is valid. Otherwise, the Nikaah must be performed again with the normal procedure or through a proxy as stated in the answerer.