marraige and matters of kufwu (compatibility) between spouses.

Respected Mufti Saheb,

As Salaamu Alaikum

I have been brought up with the belief that it is better to marry within one’s own tribe (our family is part of the indian tribal system: surti, memon, kokni, etc.). I have been told marrying from one’s own tribe has been recommended by The Holy Prophet (SAW). My search to verify this claim from a hadith point of view has thus far been unsuccessful. Rather, I have come across other claims which state that The Holy Prophet (SAW) recommended marrying outside of one’s tribe. If the Prophet (SAW) has recommended marrying in one’s own tribe, or outside of one’s tribe, or both, could you kindly provide me with reference(s) from hadith?

An email reply will be greatly appreciated.

JazaakAllah Khayr!

Wa alaykumus salaam wa rahmatullaah

Respected brother in islam
The question you pose has to do with kufw(compatibility) in marraige. It is a lenghty discussion but alhamdulillaah the answer is to be found on our website where a detailed article has been placed. The link to this articles is



Author: jaamiahamidia

striving for the upliftment of humanity

4 thoughts on “marraige and matters of kufwu (compatibility) between spouses.”

  1. salaam aliakam

    i want to konw the person that i want to do nikha with , is that person right for me.

    please reply back to my email address i can provide details about him name , date of birth

    وعليكم السلام
    باسمه تعالى
    Perform Istikhaarah and then carry on accordingly.
    والله اعلم

  2. i want to get married to a guy and same does the guy wants his family is very nice and they actually send the proposal the guy needs the span of two years to settle down properly,the thing is my parents just dont want me to get married over there,they call me selfish,n nw they have now abondoned my university,my cell phone my all contacts and with very difficulty i got the access to write to u,i hve tried to convine them as i knw it is my right to marry the guy i wnt ,it shouldnt be imposed but thething is there are so many difficulties in the way,can u suggest me some dua i csn do n over do to make things quite easier?my father dnt like the guy n his family he wants me to get into some other family as a matter of fact.the thing the guy is quite good,my brothers are younger than me one is in college and the other is in uni they approve him and they are quite helpfulto me but i dont knw anything about my parents my father he just cant get it,nw i think just to setle the stuff he has said yes to me that he will go n talk to the guys family bt its going to be two weeks nw n still no sign of him going over,is he messeing up with me?messeing up with my head and making excuses or what?i just dnt knw what to do?suggest me some dua wazeefa nything please and do pray for me please!moreover the guy is muslim suni same are us,i m pathan but we dont have ny issues marrying into other families!kindly suggest me smethng i cant even write this post properly,i m very tensed!help me out plz!
    It times youth think they know what is best for themselves andrefuse to take the advise of the elders.Firstly i wish to inform you that the basis of your friendship is already incorrect and i dont see and goodness out of it. You make sure you break off all contact and let things be done the correct way.He wants you to wait two years and if after two years he dumps you? Use your intellect over your emotions.and see what is the bst.

  3. salam .i got married 5months i have conceived a month before.went to my mother home for my all tests as permitted by my due to my ill health i couldnt turn up the day he said me to come back n it happened two times..when i couldnt come when he said.he got angry n said me m disobedient n liar ..n insulted my family too many times..he said me to decide n come back but he now has no care to come n pick me back for me n unborn child..i feel have no fault in this n feel he should come back to take me n m waiting .so plzz help me n guide me wat to do in this situation n plzz tell me in light of islam wat is disobedience of wife.evn his parents dont care to call me back..they feel men should be dominance n women should bend..plzz tell me is this thinking true n wat are duties of wife?n he dont care to call me too .he wants me to accept wat i ahve not done n come back.does islam say to bend for women when she isnt worng?
    Wa aalykumus Salaam
    The only advise i can give you is to ask a third party to mediate with them on your behalf explaining the issue. What should have been done was to inform him of the sickness and reason fr the delay on returning. Knowing of the sickness is his right after all.Marriage is a give and take situation. Stubbornness on both parties is a marriage breaker.Marriage and its ethos need to be learnt so that one can behave correctly.Your proper place is with your husband. This is what marriage is about. It is not about domination, rather of communication. Remember you failed to return not once but did it twice.Any person will become upset if his newly wed refuses to return home.Remember you are now only a visitor to your parents house and a resident of his house.

  4. asalamu alikum ,i want to ask if husband misbehaves every time to women then what should a women do? islam always says that man can do every thing with women but wt about male ? whts his rits ? what should a women do in such a case when she cant servive with him?
    Wa alaykumus Salaam
    If you not happy then ask him for Talaaq.
    If he refuses and you have a shar’ii reason then faskh will be granted. IOtherwise you have the right of khulaa.

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