Advise to a revert about marraige

I wanted to ask questions about a difficult sitution I came across, with a Muslim man I married, and a very difficutl situation I am in now. I truly need some advise on this matter, know my rights and also understand what is happening because I am completely confused by his actions, I am a convert, and maybe this is making my understanding even more difficult. Seeking help.  Please if someone can write me, thank you.
Salam

باسمه تعالى
Wa Alaikumussalaam
Dear Sister in Islam,
The answer to your question is as follows:

May Allah سبحانه و تعالى help you in whatever situation you are! You did not mention the situation you came across. However, women hold a respected place in Islam. It places the responsibilities of women onto the shoulders of men. Men are constrained to earn a livelihood and to feed and clothe them. Besides, they have been instructed to approach them with compassion and kindness and prohibited from being harsh towards women. Allah سبحانه و تعالى declared women as a favour and reward for men. The Glorious Qur’aan says, “They are your garments and you are their garments…” (Suratul Baqarah 2 V: 187) Though men have been granted a position of leadership over women and declared the head of the family, are enjoined not to exercise this superiority without appropriate reason. They should know that Allah سبحانه و تعالى is a party between them and their wives. For, they join to marriage bond following the commands of Allah سبحانه و تعالى and become lawful for men. The protection and refuge of Allah سبحانه و تعالى is always available to them. If the husbands are cruel unto them and mistreat them, they will be guilty of breaching the trust they contracted with Allah سبحانه و تعالى. The Prophet of Islam صلى الله عليه وسلم is reported as having said, “O people! Fear Allah سبحانه و تعالى in regard to your wives. You have taken them in marriage under the protection of Allah سبحانه و تعالى …” (الصحيح المسلم)
To tolerate all the torture of husband is the sign of patience and obedience. Allah سبحانه و تعالى showers His particular blessing to those who are patiently perseveres. The Glorious Qur’aan says, “Verily, Allah سبحانه و تعالى is with those who are patiently persevere”. (Suratul Baqarah 2 V: 153) And a woman, who complies with the commands of Allah سبحانه و تعالى and obeys her husband, will enter paradise by whatever door she wishes. It is narrated on the authority of Anas  رضى الله عنهthat the Apostle of Allah سبحانه و تعالى said, “If a woman performs the five daily Salaah, keeps the Sawm of Ramazan, guards her honour and obeys her husband will enter Heaven by whatever gate she likes”. (الحلية)
 
والله أعلم بالصواب وعلمه أتم

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2 thoughts on “Advise to a revert about marraige

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  1. Assalam -0-Alaikum Maulana,

    Am curious to know about the rights of my sister’s on my wife.

    Is my wife intended to obey the orders of my sisters who are married.

    My wife is not that much educated, so she is not having respect.

    At the same time my sisters are not that much cruel BUT they dont have that much islamic knowledge they are just following the traiditions of elders.

    For example, If my wife want to cook something she need to take permission of my sister when my sister use to stay in my house as a guest.

    Pls clearly write down the rights of my DAD,MOM,elder isters and elder brother on my wife.
    Wa alaykumus Salaam
    It is not necessary for your wife to obey your sisters ordersm as they feel it is not necessary for them to accept hers.No one has the right to order her around because in islaam she has not come as a slave but rather as your wife. If she does anything for them then this is her kindness and respect. She is equally ranked in the house as them because she married you and not your family.
    as for your parents she should show respect and be kind to them but then too they do not have the right to command her to do work for them. If she does it she will be rewarded.

  2. Assalam -0-Alaikum Maulana,
    i just got maried after 1 week of my marriege my wife started creating problem to my parents…
    (praying that my parents will die soon and hating my all sisters, not allowing to come to my house..it is hurting me so much )
    and she doesn’t want my parents to stay along with us….also she was taking a poison which is upesting me so much to my family distroying my image to the people in my place…so i decided to take her back to her parents house and stay since i am coming back to dubai for my work, as i am just sending whatever money for her expenses….( even after all the incedents happened my family forgives her many times and taken her back to my house , but again and again just after the hour of forgiving her she repeated thesame things.
    second thing she did while i am here in dubai…her family went to the court filing a case to against me, she said that i am impotent which is not true just because after my 1 week marriege i send her back toher parents house to stay. so i am not able to concentre for my jobs here i am getting so much disturbace…i too a decesion of giving her a divorce since my all family fade up of her attitude….. i am ready to pay anything for her to start her.

    Is it a sin to divorce her? since she never follow my words also giving me so much of tention plsss give me advice…. sorry maybe you are getting difficulties of understanding of what i am writing due my incorrect grammar…maasalam

    Wa alaykumus salaam
    Yes i am finding some hardship in reading but alhamdulillaah your message is clear and understood. I would advise you to not delay in giving her a divorce since she has filed already for divorce by vlaiming you are impotent. There is only the giving of three months nafaqah for her iddat on you. Doing so will not be a sin. However first consult your family about it and take their blessings before doing the appropriate steps.

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